captainash | 17th treasure [video]

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17th treasure [video]

[Ah, such a lovely day this is. Seriously, it has everything needed for perfection: a wobbly video feed, a fluffy lime green afro taking up most of said feed, a Relicanth swiftly swimming away from said afro, and an original score -crashing waves, Eevee screams, the shouts of a hundred furious souls- that matches the action perfectly.]

Look at that fish go-

[For a man who has to deal with an Eevee screaming in his ear and digging his claws in his shoulder, Ash sounds much too gleeful. The image starts to turn around, shaking even more as it moves.]

-and look at those turtles follow!

[Ash also sounds much too cheerful for a man being pursued by dozens of angry Tirtougas. He might even sound like he's laughing.

...He is laughing. Oh hell.]

Looks like they're gaining on us. Afrodite, show them what we can do!

[Not that anyone else will get to see what exactly that is, because Evo chooses that moment to try and get away from this madness, hitting the Gear in the process.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Of course you want to do this, Kayneth, this is a genuine space pirate at work.]

It's doing wonders for Afrodite and her mastery of Surf, if nothing else. When this started those turtles kept finding ways to surround us.

Oh, I can imagine, certainly. What kind of Pokemon even is Afrodite, anyway? I can't really see much aside from the... erm... hair, and that doesn't really seem typical for Water-types.

She's a Bouffalant, a pure Normal-type. She had no trouble learning Surf, but trying Whirlpool didn't work at all, for some reason. ...And the afro's dyed, for the record. It's naturally brown.

[...he does not know what a Bouffalant looks like, so he is less baffled than he could be...]

Ah, I see... from what I've observed, Normal-types are far more versatile than one would generally think, so that doesn't surprise me much.

...and... thank you for the clarification.

They certainly are. She's already learned Dark-, Fighting- and Bug-type attacks naturally, along with most of the HMs I have. If she could fly, I wouldn't need anyone else in my team.

[Don't get him started about Normal-types, he can keep going for hours.]

You're welcome. It tends to be the part of her that catches the most attention; I wouldn't want people to waste their time looking for green afros on the road.

That's fairly impressive... though, does she have anything that covers Fighting well? I think that would be the biggest problem to deal with, even if she has Rock and Ghost covered. Those aren't actual weaknesses, while with Fighting... you'd want to make sure to get those out of the way as quickly as possible.

[...he really has no idea how to react to that]

...erm, yes. What does the rest of her look like, anyway? I'm having difficulty making... well, anything but that out.

Not yet, but I've been looking into Move Tutors and TMs, for my next visit to Goldenrod. Her ability to learn Aerial Ace sounds promising, even if she probably won't get as much out of it as my birds do.

[Even as he speaks, he starts shifting around, ignoring Evo the Eevee's screams and the angry turtles to bend over Afrodite's hair. Look at all that bovine glory, working hard to avoid pointy rocks in her path!]

Ah, that should work, the-

[...is that some kind of buffalo

he

uh]

...I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't that.

[It's not just a buffalo, it's a disco buffalo lady!]

She's a beauty, isn't she? Normally I paint flowers on her horns and rings, but the water washed them all away.

[...he was a teenager during the seventies and

...and...

aradia what have you gotten him into]

That's... quite a shame.

[The seventies were centuries ago/next decade for Ash, depending on how you count. This was merely a happy accident.]

It sure is. They make her feel prettier, and the prettier she feels, the harder she hits.

...Well, if it has a utilitarian purpose, I don't see why you shouldn't do it...

[...he has no idea if Ash is being serious or not and would normally dismiss it

but this fucking world]

It's surprising, how much of an effect self-confidence can have on a Pokémon's ability.

[And it's much cheaper than vitamins!]

Well, is that not true of everyone? You can't get much done if you're too busy second-guessing yourself, after all.

I know that all too well. So if all it takes to avoid that with her is to regularly buy hair dye and nail polish, I'll do it with a smile.

Well, there's no use in squandering an advantage.

[...he's beginning to get the idea that this person, while... still probably insane, at least seems to be the "crazy like a fox" variety of insane, so...]

By the way, I haven't introduced myself, though I meant to. My name is Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi, and I believe Aradia Megido may have mentioned me to you?

[He's a space pirate. He kinda has to be.

Also, fun yet alarming fact: he's the one with all the common sense in his family.]

Indeed she did, some time ago. I'm Captain Ash; it's a pleasure to meet you.

[...goddamnit

...well, no reason not to be diplomatic]

It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Captain. I've been told you share a similar interest in unraveling this place's mysteries, so I hope that I can count on your assistance.

Of course. I might not have access to all of my usual resources here, but I have some talent for obtaining well-hidden but necessary information.

[As long as no one cares about pesky things such as legality.]

...Really, now...

[...well, as long as you're the acceptable kind of shifty-]

That certainly does sound helpful in a place like this, though it's quite difficult to say what kind of information is actually hidden and what the natives genuinely just don't have an answer for.

It's an advantage of having good connections.

[Totally acceptable! ...The word terrorist doesn't come up that often, at least.]

That would be problematic, though not particularly surprising. Can't exact find something if it doesn't even exist.

No, you can't. Granted, sometimes I'm not sure if things are even intentionally hidden-I initially thought there was some restriction on information about other regions, but it turns out that booksellers don't always seem to have the brains to actually import books.

...And, of course, if there's a way for us to import them ourselves and get them delivered here, they don't bother to mention it either. Do they really think there's no market for foreign writings?

Apparently not. I've gotten the impression that at least one of the booksellers thinks so highly of Johto's legends that he doesn't consider it to be worth it.

[oh come on, dude, you would have totally done something similar if it didn't inconvenience you]

...You're telling me our attempts to learn more about this world are being hindered by over-enthusiastic patriotism?

[That is somewhat sad and pathetic.]