captainash: (uh)
[On the screen in the foreground, a wet yet excited-looking Smeargle. Slightly behind and holding the Smeargle up, an equally wet Captain Ash. In the background, route 34 and a portion of its Surskit population.]

Hey, would anyone be kind enough to show off a cool attack or two? We want to try something.

[The Smeargle nods enthusiastically along, its eyes shining with hope and anticipation. But that stops when its trainer suddenly laughs.]

It doesn't even need to be cool, really. That's just a bonus. Any attack will do if you feel like sharing it.

[That last part was obviously not included in their original discussion, because the last thing that happens before the Pokégear is turned off is a brush tail slapping Ash in the face.]
captainash: (surprised)
[The video starts in a bedroom. A perfectly normal bedroom, one could say, except for the large bite taken out of the bedside table. And the one taken from the pillow. From the lamp. From the bedsheet. The closet to the right shakes a little, and many birds can be heard within.

Whoever is holding the Pokégear (but considering the height, it's probably Ash) turns around and walks straight out of the door towards the bathroom. The shower curtains are missing about twenty centimeters at the bottom, and so is the mirror. A dark-clad arm comes out to try and open the cabinet, but a red tentacle gently closes it.

The Gear's journey finally ends in the kitchen area, where the table, the fridge, the faucet and a chair have all been similarly damaged. A Purugly and a Delcatty are holding on to the ceiling lamp, both hissing in panic when the cameraman approaches. He wisely backs off, and does one last sweep of the room.]

...I think my Munchlax is defective.
captainash: (thinking)
[Audio]

There has to be a way to get a Porygon that's more efficient than playing Voltorb flip over and over until it drives me crazy.

Boom, boom! Game over!

Shut up, Haro. Has anyone seen a wild herd of the things? A breeder that sells them? Any info would be greatly appreciated.


[Action

Are you by any chance in Goldenrod, near the Game Corner, up to half an hour after this message is sent?

If the answer is yes, please be careful. There's a man around there attempting to grab a laughing Chatot and drag him back inside the building, and he's not really paying attention to the people who might be in the way.]
captainash: (ashamed)
I would like to apologize to the twenty-seven people (or was it twenty-nine?) that were hit by flying pokéballs near Sprout Tower today.
I promise my team won't be playing extreme soccer there again.


How's the road to the Ruins of Alph and Azalea these days? We'll be leaving Violet soon, but I don't really want to (not) die of exposure on the way.

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Captain Ash (Asemu Asuno)

May 2016

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