captainash: (confident)
[There is a giant robot in Vermillion.

And also in Cerulean.

And Cinnabar.

There is a giant robot every-freaking-where, and if you're particularly unlucky it might land very, very close to you.

You don't need to worry, though. Now more than any other time, Captain Ash knows what he's doing.]
captainash: (neutral)
[The feed starts with a close view of the bottom half of a Snorlax floating on water, complete with an Octillery sitting between the legs and moving its tentacles like the world's slowest propeller. It backs away a little, partially showing Mt. Mortar to the side. There's plenty of time to take in the view, as the background is moving at a glacial pace.

A rout of tiny little baby Shellos is racing against the unlikely boat on the shore, and winning. Easily.]

At this point, I can't even tell which one is using Surf. Or if either of them is using Surf at all. It's been three days, and we're not halfway to Mahogany yet.

[Which would explain why Ash looks so bored when he finally looks at the camera. Behind him, gentle snoring can be heard. No wonder they're practically not moving.]

So, a little poll for you guys. Should I try to swim there by myself instead? Because I'm seriously considering it.
captainash: (neutral)
I need a crew.

[Ash is all business today, sitting in this glorious chair as if he's never left it. ...Hang on, that doesn't look like a hotel room or even a Pokémon Center. Where the hell is he? And why is he knees-deep in Goomies?]

One with opposable thumbs if possible, but at this point I'm not picky. Come to Goldenrod if you're interested; barring blindness, you can't miss the ship.

[No, really, missing this great big thing in the waters near Goldenrod would be kinda hard. Just don't step on the tiny dragons on your way in.]

captainash: (confident)
[Be careful today, ladies and gentlemen, for your world has been invaded by a pirate robot!

...A pirate robot that's just walking or flying around, enjoying the sights and generally not acting very pirate-like.

......What, it's his day off.]

captainash: (confident)
[Audio]

-nd whoa, that was a bit too bumpy. Slow down.

[Bumpy enough for a Gear to be accidentally turned on, at the very least.]

No, no, keep going forward. Let them stare if they want. If you like, you like it, and you shouldn't let them poison it for you. Besides, I'd bet most of them are actually jea- Hey, careful with those st-

[And also bumpy enough for the Gear to be turned back off before someone mentions what's happening out there. What a shame.

Action

People in Olivine, however, get to find out exactly what's going on! ...And what's going on would be Captain Ash, proudly riding an uncertain Bouffalant with a bright green afro around the city. Those who take a closer look might even see dozens of flowers, each of them lovingly painted on the Bouffalant's horns with nail polish.

If one of Ash's girls wants to look pretty, he'll damn well make her look pretty.]

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Captain Ash (Asemu Asuno)

May 2016

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