captainash | 17th treasure [video]

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17th treasure [video]

[Ah, such a lovely day this is. Seriously, it has everything needed for perfection: a wobbly video feed, a fluffy lime green afro taking up most of said feed, a Relicanth swiftly swimming away from said afro, and an original score -crashing waves, Eevee screams, the shouts of a hundred furious souls- that matches the action perfectly.]

Look at that fish go-

[For a man who has to deal with an Eevee screaming in his ear and digging his claws in his shoulder, Ash sounds much too gleeful. The image starts to turn around, shaking even more as it moves.]

-and look at those turtles follow!

[Ash also sounds much too cheerful for a man being pursued by dozens of angry Tirtougas. He might even sound like he's laughing.

...He is laughing. Oh hell.]

Looks like they're gaining on us. Afrodite, show them what we can do!

[Not that anyone else will get to see what exactly that is, because Evo chooses that moment to try and get away from this madness, hitting the Gear in the process.]

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I hear stories about flyers being a problem. So watch yourself, okay? Those guys are predators and have teeth. No telling if being half dead means 'people eaters' too.

I will. I can even try throwing the Tirtougas in their path if I have to.

Here's hoping it doesn't come to that. I mean, maybe they'd settle for some other type meat.

...What would give the best results, mystery meat or Magikarps?

Maybe ham. Feeding other pokes to them seems cruel. Besides, it's easier to get your hands on bacon. You might even make new friends with bacon. Man. Now I want some bacon.

Wouldn't their bacon come from Tepigs or Spoinks? I haven't seen other pigs here yet. That would be just as cruel as Magikarps.

[There's a long silence as the realization hits Dave.]

...

Welp.

I'm probably swearing off bacon forever now.

Or maybe it's all artificial fake meat. I'm really hoping it's artificial fake meat.

Yeah. But everytime you eat bacon, you're picturing it, aren't you.

I haven't eaten bacon in months.

[That would be a yes.]

[There's a pause as he gets up, walking out of the frame. There's the sound of rummaging around before Dave comes back fifteen minutes later.] Okay. I just double checked some shit and uh, the bacon is just pig not poke.

Dunno if that makes you feel better or anything.

Edited 2013-08-14 23:31 (UTC)

[Longest fifteen minutes of his life, right there.]

...It just makes me wonder where they keep the pigs.

Maybe farms?? I dunno. I'm a city kid, born and raised. The country shit just baffles me.

Not at the MooMoo farm, though. They put a lot of effort into hiding their food production plants.

Maybe they do it that way so they don't upset the pokemon?

Could be. Then again, most Pokémon have surprisingly solid nerves.

And a lot saner than people. Huh. Maybe this mystery won't be solved then.

I'd say it's one of Johto's seven mysteries, but it has a lot more than that.

It has more mysteries than it does answers. Makes a guy want to become an archelogist to see if he can dig more answers. ...if he stays here long enough.

I'd much rather find some of their older records, but I'd bet they've got more than the Ruins of Alph hidden out there.

Exactly. There's got to be more ruins out there. More about the ancient shit and legendary creatures. Might be what brought us here. Got to look to say, yeah that's what happened.

Or even "...Okay, that's definitely not what happened." Every theory confirmed or disproved helps.

Exactly. The more we know of what's actually going on. The less we'll be looking at the bacon going, 'please don't be that lady down the road's pig'. Or 'So where do you come from really'. Among other things.

Though it's our luck these giant things are connected the planet and their waking is a. bad. thing.

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad a thing if only one was awake at a time? ...Not that I intend to look for one and poke it awake to find that out.

Maybe. It all boils down to needing more information about all of this stuff. Stuff like this I put the 2% of it being a good thing chance on.

Wonder if they'd let me near one of the dig sites.

[Video]

captainash - 2013-08-28 14:16 (UTC) - Expand

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