42nd treasure [text]

[captainash]

Quick poll. Which do you consider cuter on a beautiful young maiden:

- hearts, or flowers?
- stars, or moons?
- rhinestones, or beads?
- ribbons, or hairclips?

Also, does anyone know if glitter glue is dangerous? She really wants to wear it, but she keeps trying to lick it.

Comments

[Text]

[callbacks]

flower funnels

[Text]

[captainash]

Detachable bits controlled by psychic powers that can use beam attacks.
Shaped like flowers.

[Text]

[callbacks]

not that i got anything against flowers
my sisters named after a flower
but is that necessary??

[Text]

[captainash]

Probably not?
Their other suits with funnels or bits didn't involve flowers in any shape or form. Or cutesy little wands.
Maybe they're selling toy versions of their machines back in their colonies, and that was their attempt to reach the preteen girl market?

[Text]

[callbacks]

have they ever MET a preteen girl

[Text]

[captainash]

They haven't met the ones that fight over the last Adele or Clanche figure in toy stores, that's for sure. Those fight just as dirty as the boys.

[Text]

[callbacks]

dirtier
girls are basically terrifying and anyone who doesnt think so is in for a world of pain

[Text]

[captainash]

I was going to say that most of the ones I personally knew weren't that terrifying.
But then I remembered that they all ended up joining the army at some point, so.

[Text]

[callbacks]

my sister contracted advanced woebegothitis and exploded several portions of her planet for no damn reason

[Text]

[captainash]

WHAT.
Destroyed part of her planet? Really? What happened to writing angsty poetry and distracting yourself from your feelings with loud music and petty rebellion???

[Text]

[callbacks]

dont get me wrong she did that shit too
you should see her beardy wizard prose
its just when you give a teenage girl access to untold occult majykks and a whole cosmic quest to fuck up you cant be surprised when she steps up her game

[Text]

[captainash]

And no one thought to encourage her to fuck her cosmic quest up in a less destructive manner??? What about the people who lived on those portions???

[Text]

[callbacks]

oh i dont think anyone lived there
and if they did they were turtles and had some built in protection

[Text]

[captainash]

...I'm sure those poor turtles did nothing to deserve this.

[Text]

[callbacks]

probably not
most planetary consorts were too dumb to do much of anything really

[Text]

[captainash]

And what, exactly, is a planetary consort?

[Text]

[callbacks]

consorts are kind of like pokemon i guess in that theyre everywhere
but each planet only has one kind
and they dont really do anything
and they talk
but nothing theyve got to say has any meaning or even a semblance of intelligence so its not really worth listening to them
roses were turtles mine were crocodiles and so on

[Text]

[captainash]

Why would anyone want a planet full of nothing but turtles or crocodiles?
What can you even do with that many turtles or crocodiles, anyway?

[Text]

[callbacks]

not much tbh
swindle them out of their lifes savings maybe but beyond that i dont have a clue

[Text]

[captainash]

Harsh. Maybe they wanted to use those life savings to bring their grandkids to an amusement park. Maybe they wanted to buy a seaside cottage somewhere warm and sunny.

[Text]

[callbacks]

yeah my planet was made out of lava so we didnt really have any of that