42nd treasure [text]

[captainash]

Quick poll. Which do you consider cuter on a beautiful young maiden:

- hearts, or flowers?
- stars, or moons?
- rhinestones, or beads?
- ribbons, or hairclips?

Also, does anyone know if glitter glue is dangerous? She really wants to wear it, but she keeps trying to lick it.

Comments

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[captainash]

Most certainly not for a girlfriend. I haven't gone on a date in over sixteen years.

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[veggie_vamp]

What does that matter? I've had plenty of decades pass by without a date. Age is nothing but a number!

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[captainash]

Damn right it is, and I definitely intend to go on plenty of dates when I finally get home! ...But most certainly not with her. It'd be both wrong and illegal.

[Text]

[hashtagafreakingghost]

Drawing patterns??? On her skin???

Okay, is she a Pokémon?

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[veggie_vamp]

Your love for her is so strong it's illegal?!

[Text]

[captainash]

That's right, she is. Otherwise, I'd go for temporary tattoos, but I have no idea if they'd stick to her horns and hooves.

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[captainash]

What? NO! My current platonic love is perfectly normal and healthy. Falling in love would be sick, wrong, illegal, and generally disturbing.

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[veggie_vamp]

Love as a crime... your world is so harsh!

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[captainash]

If there's a world out there where bestiality is legal, I don't want to visit it.

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[veggie_vamp]

She's a beast? So what? I'm dating a werewolf.

[Text]

[callbacks]

well personally id think the situation would still be IMPROVED
just you know
not enough

[Text]

[captainash]

It looks improved and sparklier, and then the glitter gets into the claw wounds and everything goes to hell.
It'd be a step up from salt, though. Probably.

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[captainash]

I think werewolves are an exception due to unusual sentience, usually. Or at least in theory and in romance novels.
Oh well, it wouldn't matter anyway, because our relationship is strictly platonic. If anything, I'm her honorary wingman.

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[veggie_vamp]

I'm sure you'll find the one for you soon! Someone who will really love all this attention to detail!

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[captainash]

That's completely unnecessary. I'm not looking anymore, and my attention to detail is already quite appreciated.

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[veggie_vamp]

Didn't you just say you'd got on a lot of dates when you went home?

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[captainash]

Yes, but to go on dates back home I wouldn't need to do any looking.
Grovelling, maybe, but no looking.

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[veggie_vamp]

Why not?

CAPTAIN ARE YOU BLIND? Oh wow, to think you can do arts and crafts without any eyesight, that's so cool!

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[captainash]

No, my vision's fine.
I mean, I nearly got my eye gouged out by a mobile suit that one time, and my Purugly keeps trying for a repeat performance, but it all healed nicely and almost prettily.
Medicine does miracles, these days.

[Text]

[hashtagafreakingghost]

Is she a horse?


Oh that's insensitive. I mean, what kind is she?

[Text]

[captainash]

She's a buffalo, actually! Have you ever seen a Bouffalant before?

[Text]

[hashtagafreakingghost]

No, actually. I've only been here a month and a half, so there are a lot of types I haven't seen. I haven't even heard of them.

[Text/Video]

[captainash]

Let's fix that, then.

[The reply switches to video long enough to show off Ash's Bouffalant. Her hair is a mess of sky blue and bubblegum pink streaks, and her eyes are staring at the camera hopefully.]

As you can see, she's quite looking forward to improving her style.

[text]

[ferino]

glitter glue? i dont think glitter is dangerous so long as the glue isnt

[text]

[captainash]

It's non-toxic, thankfully, but I'm not sure if it can cause irritation or allergies. Maybe I should use a single drop first, as a test.